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Ok, so maybe I will just Blog when I need to say something, since I rarely stay consistent with this thing. That kinda irritates me. So any how, I am in an weird in between time in my like. Day care is going good, with teaching preschool this fall and all, except that I am a SMALL daycare. I have a full capacity for a small day care! that is just crazy! So my bills are stacking up, though we have not had to make a late payment yet. They are just stacking up in my head. Glenn has had some side jobs detailing cars, helping our friend and family with their house stuff. I am very glad that Glenn knows how to do sooooooo much. But he is looking for a job. he has applied at different places and nothing is happening with any of them.... still waiting to hear about a couple of drilling jobs that would take Glenn out of town for a week, then home for a week. we will see how that goes. So we are broke to say the least and haven't been able to go to Sacramento to church in a while and it's eating at me. I want the kids to be able to grow up with kids in Church and know people that are like them, I need to have a place of worship besides my car when I'm by by self. where I can sing and worship out loud and dwell in the presence of the Lord. for being such a shy person, I don't know why it is easier to worship in a public place, but it is. So I really miss going to a church. I told Glenn we have to do something. We are probably going to visit Sac this Sunday though, that will be good. I just wish things weren't temporary right now, I kinda would like to move somewhere I don't care where (as long as it wasn't in the middle of nowhere or was freezing cold or something) and just start new with daycare even and live off of Glenn's income for a while, Just somewhere that we could go to church and be a part of the family of God somewhere. But I really love Christway, too. The Krantz' are so good for me and Glenn. we actually Grow in God and are motivated to live our lives the way God wants.... Can't I just have the best of Both worlds???? and I don't know if I want my kids to be the pillars of a new church, unless we hurry and grow.... by the time they are youth age? God can save that many people. not that I am really witnessing to anyone right now, besides being friendly and making connections, I can't even invite them anywhere right now. I know i need to get over these feelings, but I don't know what I should be feeling. I have know idea what i should be wanting right now. I want to do what is right but I don't know what is right. I wish God would just spell it out to me, what my future is going to be like. Maybe it's a surprise. ahhhhh.   well it feels good to vent, since I have no friends to talk to. Glenn doesn't know how to listen without him thinking I'm mad at him, Sis. Krantz has her worries, so I don't want to bother her, and I have NO ONE else at all. Crystal is sweet and would listen but I can't take any advise or anything, so I don't even bother, and that's all my close friends that I would feel comfortable talking to. So Its just my Blog and I do tell God about this stuff all the time and listen for a response, but I am still waiting to hear what his surprise is. or I'm just not seeing it. I do know that God will take care or me and he has a plan for my life, and I need to be the best mom and wife i can be, which I am trying, so.... I love you Jesus. That's all I know. And i love my family they are so cute. And I appreciate my husband a lot. He is a very knowledgeable person and he is trying to do his best for us, because he loves us. Can't someone just offer him a Good job, that would be nice.